Random Anxiety

Hey guys, just a little rant post more than anything.

Random spouts of anxiety are the worst.  I have had no reason to have anxiety, yet here I am experiencing small bursts of it,

I had plans today. But no longer do. If I didn't have such an understanding and caring boyfriend, it would make it a lot harder.

Unfortunately I have put a bit of weight on this year. This does cause me to feel bad about my image, but I am starting to work on this and have a healthier diet,
I also have been having bad circulation in my legs, which can make wearing clothes such as jeans and leggings painful, And when this is all I pretty much own it can be hard work.
I was having leg pain this morning so  I didn't want to wear jeans. I went to put a pair of baggy trousers on, but that just made me feel 10x bigger. So I thought I'll find my stetchy leggings and just wear a black shorts over the top. Was a good idea until I found out the zip on the shorts were broken. This was the last straw for my mind, I got grumpy and upset because nothing was going right. I was meant to be going out with my mum then meeting my boyfriend, and I was worried wearing the jeans for such a long time would cause more pain.

But because my boyfriend is so nice, he told me not to worrying about meeting him today and just go home and relax.
But because I have such an anxious brain, I instantly felt guilty, and I always do when I change or cancel plans.

So you'd think, ok my day is all clear, I've got my baggy batman sweat pants on, I can chill, I got nothing to worrying about. And you're right I don't, Yet here I am with this nasty nagging panicky feeling over my body.
Unlike full blown anxiety, I can deal with this bursts of panic by distracting myself, which 9/10 times work. It just becomes so annoying that I let the anxiety win, and it still isn't happy?

I don't know if anybody else with anxiety gets like this? you think you'll let have anxiety have this day, cancel plans and just chill, your mind will be happy with that. But nope. The nope train comes along and ruins that for ya.

Oh well. writing it down has helped stop it for now. Suppose its time to distract myself for another 7/8 hours before I can go to bed!
Positive thinking aye; ha!