I don't have a favourite console.

It's true. I don't have a favourite console.

Since I was a kid, I never really separated my time on each console I owned, and I still don't. I tend to fixate on one console and play it everyday for a good few months, then go off that console and go onto another console. I am currently on my "off" PlayStation stage as there is no games out at the moment holding my interest. But I'm currently fixed on playing my Nintendo Switch or Nintendo 3DS. But when Crash Bandicoot comes out the end of next week, the chances are the Switch and 3DS will be put back on hold and I'll be on the PS4 again.

My parents first got me a Gameboy Advance SP for one of my birthdays. I was HOOKED on that machine, constantly playing Pokemon. Then I remember my dad getting and Xbox 360. After a few months, I wanted one, so I got a cheap second hand one. Once I had an Xbox, the SP got put in a draw. Then the DS came out. and so on and one.

I have sold so many consoles in the past because I "stopped" playing them, but give it a few months or years and I'll want that console back. I have done this 2, maybe 3 times with the Nintendo 3DS! I got rid of my Gameboy SP when I got my first DS. 3 years ago I bought myself a Gameboy Colour and Gameboy SP again. All be it I haven't played them in a good year or so, BUT I have them again, and this time I am not selling them. (although, they could be worth a bit of money now!)

Turns out this is a factor of my Dyspraxia and I've been this way ever since a baby. I would play with just one thing, until I was bored of it and moved on. There is so many parts of me that I never realised is apart of Dyspraxia. I always just thought there was something wrong with me, not making me like things after a few months

So because of this, I technically don't have a favourite because I swap and change so much. I will say my most owned and probably oldest console is 3DS; all be it this is my 3rd one, BUT I've had a DS since the DS Lite came out.

I want to be creative

Hey guys.

I'm afraid this post is a bit of a rant towards myself and my dyspraxia.
I want to be creative.
I see so many people having these amazing creative ideals with art, photography, crafting etc and I'm just here, with the creative ability of a potato.

Since I was in school I have tried to draw. But unless I was tracing the image; it would turn out awful. I don't think I've once drawn something freehand that hasn't made me angry and rip the paper up in rage.
My mum is a crafter, she makes beautiful cards, scrapbook, knitting etc. I tried knitting once, because I wanted to make myself a blanket, I remember this clearly! I got the hang on how to knit, I was getting excited because I thought "YES I CAN DO SOMETHING" I finished the first square, and there it was, a MASSIVE HOLE IN THE MIDDLE. I somehow mucked it up.

Photography. My dad and my boyfriend love photography. I decided to take Alevel photography because well, it sounded more fun then French. And I thought I was doing pretty well with my photography, I mean I wasn't the best compared to my friends, but  I gave it a good shot! Handed in my first assignment. And I got a U. yes. A. U!!!!! like why not just right "lol you tried" over my work!
Personally I think that teacher didn't like me, and the feeling is mutual. I spent six months, and got my photography work up ready for the exam and the exam board gave me a C overall. So I wasn't too bad, but my confidence is not there anymore.

The only creative thing I can do is colour. I have well over 20 adult colouring books, and that is about as far as my creative side goes. Even then I muck up and colour out of the lines.

It's funny really, I can't do any of that. But put pen and paper down in front of me and I'll write you a story.

Brains are funny. Still want to draw though. Silly brain.

I had a fight with the iron.

So like anybody with dyspraxia knows, we are a tiny bit clumsy. 

Because I'm a clumsy person I'm not a fan of hot items such a kettles, ovens and irons. 

This morning I did the ironing. I now have a burnt finger. 

This numpty here was clumsy enough to touch the corner of the metal plate of the iron by accident. 

It hurts. 

Thankfully this wasn't an a&e trip like most of the times I burn myself on hot things. I just have a little redness and stingy pain. 

So this is for anyone who has dyspraxia. We are a bit clumsy and end up getting hurt; but hey what an adventure we create for ourselves! 

Dyspraxia awareness

it's that time again!
The Dyspraxia foundation have set up an awareness to get donations to help support dyspraxia.

I took part last year posting a picture about what dyspraxia is to me and donated.
This year it's a thank you to everyone who supported you plus donation!

It might not seem it but any donation helps. More people need the correct knowledge to know how to help children or even adult with dyspraxia.

The dyspraxia foundation does so much for New and old parents that have a child (ren) with dyspraxia.
Without them I wouldn't have some of the answers  I needed as a child.

So if you'd like to donate text HATS02 with your donation to 70070

Thank you

Living with Dyspraxia - My Childhood

Before I start my story, I should let you know that on the Isle of Wight when I was a child we had Primary school (reception to year 4) Middle School (year 5 to year 8) and High School (year 9 to year 11) very confusing I know!  
I'll be classifying my "childhood" from ages 2/3 to  the end of middle school time, which I was about 12 years old. 

So I don't remember too much about my younger years and dealing with dyspraxia, so a lot of this information I had to ask my mum about.

Since a baby, I always struggled with eating food that was soft with no texture. I would struggle to eat yogurt, rice pudding, mash potato etc. I also struggled to play with toys that you had to put in order. Apparently I used to refuse to play with bricks or anything involving building.
My parents never thought anything was wrong with me, this was just me as a person.

It was around 2006 time when my parents started to realize something wasn't quite right. I was roughly 8 years old and in Year 3 of Primary School.
I came home from school one day and starting to talk to my mum about the Romeos! My mum thought I was talking about Romeo and Juliet, until I started talk about them wearing hats, armor etc. My mum asked me "Do you mean the Romans"? But I said no, they were the Romeos! My mum tried to correct me and tell me they are called Romans, but I was adamant they were Romeos. Apparently I started to become very distressed and upset and this was the key point that got my parents to go into school and speak to my teacher.

I remember just before leaving primary school, a learning support staff took me into the Library and showed me these little cards. I remember sitting there having the place cards into certain orders. My mum says that this was a sequence game and they were testing to see how I would do.

It wasn't until the end of Year 5 that I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia.  When Middle School came, everything changed. I went from a Primary school that wanted to help me, to a Middle school that just saw me as a number. I started not wanting to go to school and used to pretend to be ill ALOT to get out of school. I would also keep things to myself, such as if I didn't understand something I wouldn't ask for help. This is what got my parents to go hard on the system. They took me to the
doctors and demanded help. I saw a lot of specialist people and they confirmed it is Dyspraxia I have and explained to me and my parents what that is.
My parents then told the school about this learning difficulty I had. But did they care? Nah. Its thanks to my middle school that I was never fully statemented to have Dyspraxia because they didn't do their part of paperwork etc. (this made it hard in high school when exams came around. I'll explain in more detail in my teenage post)
By the time I started to get help in school, I already educationally taught myself well enough to read and write, and because of that, I didn't need "extra help".
The only problem was, I didn't struggle to read and spell etc, I struggled to get the words from my head onto paper. I could never get out what I would be trying to say. This is what I needed help with the most.

So overall I can say my middle school was an awful experience. I was bullied, I struggled a lot, and I had hardly any teachers believe in me.
I did show them all wrong in year 8 though. My year was the first to be chosen to take their year 9 SATS early. One of the SATS was about Shakespeare. My teacher automatically assumed  I was not ready to take the real test, so put me down to do the mock test.
Well I proved her wrong. I completed the test, and got higher marks than anyone in my class, including the people that took the real test! I could have done my SATS before I started High School. and I could have given my middle school a higher percentage, but because they had no faith in me, I lost out on what could have been a great SAT result!

Funny enough, now this is going to sound so strange; but the only thing I exceeded in in Middle school was individual sports. Yes, I couldn't read or write as well as other students, but I could outrun them all. (including some boys) I won medals and competitions with my running and long jump. This was because I didn't have to coordinate with anybody else. I could do my own thing without anyone in the way.
Team sports though, well that was a nightmare.

Throughout Primary School and Middle School I would never show how I felt in school, but would erupt like a volcano at home. I would become very frustrated and would be known to bang my head against the wall. This made it harder from my parents.
If i wasn't as shy as I was in school, and I showed my true colours and caused a bit of trouble, I could have had all the help I would have needed. But because I was quiet and just wanted to get on with my life, I was left in the corner to struggle.



So that's my childhood story. Not that interesting I know, but the idea of me writing this was to show and give awareness of Dyspraxia and to hopefully help someone who is going through or knows someone going through this kind of situation.
It was a struggle physically and mentally with me and my parents having no support. So if I can help just one person feel less alone or give them any tips. Then my job is done!

Who needs to be able to talk correctly anyway?!

It's currently 9.25pm and I'm in bed writing this post.

The last few days I have noticed my speech has become awful. I am not pronouncing my words correctly, I'm muddling my sentences up or even worse I cannot speak certain words.

It is the most horrible feeling. Not being able to say the word when it's right there in your head and you just can't get it out of your mouth. It's not like you forget what the word was because you're saying it perfectly fine in your mind but you just can't speak the words.
The only way I can explain it is its like being in a nightmare trying to scream for help but no sound comes out (just less terrifying)

I have had my odd days here and now where my speech would play up and I would just laugh it off, but this has been going on for a couple of weeks. It's not an all the time occurrence, sometimes I have no problem; other days I have non stop trouble pronouncing words (like today)

It's so frustrating and embarrassing expecially in front of people that you don't know. 
I have been with my boyfriend 2 years and I would say today was one of my worst dyspraxia days. He tried to correct me and laugh it off with me like normal but this time I couldn't laugh it off and I could feel myself getting emotional and embarrassed.

I have no idea why this has just started up again.  Maybe I'm stressed? Maybe I'm not activating my mind enough? All I know is I can't wait for this to become a "odd day" occurrence again!

What is Dyspraxia?!

So the big question is what is Dyspraxia?

Dyspraxia is scientifically known as a developmental coordination disorder; DCD for short. It is a common life long condition that affects a persons fine and/or gross motor skills. This means that a child and/or an adult might struggle with walking or talking. Children with Dyspraxia are stereotypically known to be "clumsy" this is because their motor skills are affected in every day use. 

Now if you're anything like me, you did not or do not know the difference between fine and gross motor skills. 

 Fine motor skills = small movements. This would be things such as picking up objects and other small activities which used fingers or toes. 

Gross motor skills = Larger movements. Such as being able to roll around, running etc and struggling with using bigger muscles like arms, torso and legs. 

Dyspraxia doesn't only just affect a persons physically coordination but  can also affect a persons mental coordination. What I mean by this is that a person might be able to run or climb, but the might struggle getting information passed from their brain to certain parts of their bodies, For example a person might struggle to get what they are thinking in their mind and put it down on paper or even struggle to get the words out of their mouth. This is one of the main things I personally have struggled with and still do. 

The amount of times I have thought of a sentence in my mind, i go to write it down and completely miss certain words, or add extra lettings.  Sometimes I have personally noticed my mistakes, other times it has to be pointed out to me because according to my brain that sentence is correct. An example for this is in my mind i would be thinking "I would like to go to the beach tomorrow" where as I could write it down as "i woud like to go beach tomorrow" or speak it as "I like go to beach" which to me would look and sound like i said the first sentence but actually it comes out like a cryptic message!

It is important to know that Dyspraxia can vary from person to person and can also change in time depending on different experiences and environments. 

The older some people get they might find that their Dyspraxia gets a lot better and don't notice is so much, where as some people might find that they struggle more than they used it. 

Even though Dyspraxia is now a common learning difficulty/disability it still isn't really spoken about or got the press of difficulties such as Dyslexia even though they are quite similar in their own ways.   

There are many different symptoms that a person can experience from Dyspraxia and it is also another thing that can change depending on a persons age and experiences etc.  

If you believe that you yourself or know someone that might sound like they have Dyspraxia I will link the Dyspraxia Foundation website so you can see all the different signs and symptoms of dyspraxia and also how to get help if you need it. 

https://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/about-dyspraxia/

I will be doing a three part series of "my dyspraxia story" which one will be my childhood, the second will be teenage years and first will be young adult life. This will be about my personal experience with dyspraxia, getting diagnosed, school life and social/emotional life. 

I apologise if my spelling, punctuation and grammar are not perfect; I have dyspraxia after all :P