Living with Non-Allergic Rhinitis

Last year I was diagnosed with a Non-Allergic Rhinitis issue.
Now you're probably thinking "a what?!" Non-Allergic Rhinitis is basically the irritation of the nostrils which makes your nose run, block up, sneeze etc.
You can get Allergic Rhinitis which is when you get hay fever or if you're allergic to something. Hay fever is the most common when it comes to irritating the nose.
Obviously with hay fever symptoms, you get all the blocked nose, runny nose, sneezing etc, but you also can get itchy eyes etc. With non-allergic rhinitis, you get a lot of the same nose symptoms, but no itchy eyes (well in my case I don't anyway)
The difference between the both of them is that, most non-allergic versions you don't really know what "sets you off" plus unlike having hay fever, I get this all year round.

This isn't something I just "diagnosed" myself. Because I constantly had issues with my nose, some days worse than others, sometimes anti histamines worked, sometimes it didn't. I just assumed I have become allergic to something. I did start to panic that maybe I became allergic to my cats etc. Because I would get set of at different times. After going to my GP and getting a referral to the allergy clinic up our local hospital, I then got all the "normal" tests done. This is the allergy tests for pollen, pets, dust etc. And nothing was showing up. My skin wasn't getting irritated to any of the "normal" allergies. I got tested again with a few different more "uncommon" allergies of different tree pollen and other possible allergies. Yet again, nothing showed up. Me and the nurse both thought something would have shown up because of the symptoms I gave the GP etc.
Once I had all my tests done, I got to see the Allergy Doctor. This is when he explained to me that I didn't have an allergy and that I had "non-allergic rhinitis" my first reaction was "a what" This is when he explained that basically my nostrils are easily irritated by particles in the air. He this continued to tell me that it is more common in the elderly. (cheers body)

So I went home and done some of my own research. Turns out this can last for anything from a few weeks/months to a good few years/ hey maybe forever! There isn't much I can do, apart from avoid the things that you know can trigger it. For example, even though there is no "main trigger" an high smelling perfume, might cause the start of irritation, so if you know perfume starts it off, then to try and avoid it etc. This is great, but currently I still have no idea what my triggers are!

With any "illnesses" there are good and bad days. Thankfully I'm getting more good than bad days lately. Some days I can go through with an occasional sneeze, a bit of an itchy nose, but nothing that really bothers me. Other days can be really bad. Sometimes it can get to the stage that I have to go to bed, and nap or sleep to stop it. On them bad days my nose will either not stop running or will be blocked up and scabbed, I'll have either random sneezes, or I'll have continuous sneezing for a good few mins. (did you know, that continuous sneezing can be bloody exhausting! Because I didn't until I got all this!) on them bad days, it's also like my sinuses are on fire. Everything feels blocked and throbbing. This can last from an hour to a whole afternoon. It has got so bad that I have had to sleep to try and get some relief from the symptoms.
There is also no regular time of the day that I get this. I can get up and go to the loo at 2am, and by the time i get up, go to the loo and go back to my room, my nose can start running. So something in that few mins was enough to trigger it. I can wake up with it, or be fine all day and get it in the afternoon. I don't have to be in my house either. I've had it staying at my boyfriends, I've been fine all day and then gone outside and it started. It is really very random when I get this.

I can take anti histamines, this can help reduce the symptoms, and it will probably help a lot more when pollen season starts etc. but sometimes the histamines don't touch it. I know there are also nose sprays you can use to help clear the nose, so if you can start to feel it start, you can wash the particles out of the nose before it gets too much.

Thankfully at the moment I don't work, so when I do get a "bad day" it's not so bad if I take a quick nap in the afternoon to stop it. Failing that, I need a box of tissues with me at all times!

So if you or you know anyone who has this, just keep some tissues near by, if we start sneezing, or getting a blocked nose, giving us a tissues makes you an angel!

That's about it for this blog post. I am currently making my way though Detective Pikachu on 3DS so I'll hopefully have a review for that coming out soon!

Until next time x

Carla Crane; where art thou?

Hey guys;
Now you're probably looking at this title like "who" and don't worry; I am still thinking the same thing! So I am going to be telling you something that happened to me last week. (ps "Carla"; if you read this, there a little bit down the bottom for you to read :) ... )

Last Saturday I had a message request on my Facebook from a "Carla Crane" When I logged onto the messenger app; it just came up saying "request" so I went to look  thinking it was one of these "hi join Avon/Juice Plus/ other annoying stuff" but all it said was;
"Hi, Look I'm really sorry I didn't know he was seeing someone" At that point I was a curious little cookie and accepted the message request so  I could reply.
Now, I am in a relationship and have been for almost three years; so you could probably guess what was coming next.
Yes. Apparently this Carla Crane has been dating my boyfriend for the last 2 months.
Obviously I'm the type of girl that overacts pretty easily, so at that point I was on the phone to him like "YOU BETTER NOT BE FUCKING CHEATING ON ME" "TELL ME THE TRUTH NOW" I was a bit psycho. And obviously I had one confused boyfriend the other end of the phone thinking I just had a mental breakdown.

So I had my other half on speaker phone; my mum next to me and me talking to this wonderful Carla. I didn't know who to believe at this moment in time, I'll be honest; I have trust issues, so when someone says something like this, your little mind starts to wander.
So the conversation went on, whilst all three of us was investigating this profile. The profile was made 44mins before messaging me. (I mean c'mon Carla; not the best step for making a fake profile; you need to make it at least look real)

Apparently her friend "Hannah" saw my boyfriend hugging a blonde girl in town (this is me) so she asked me "are you his sister or something" Which looking back at it now, you just appologised to me because you didn't realsie he was dating someone; but now you're asking if I'm his sister?! riight. (obviously at this time I didn't question much; I was on rampage)
She was saying she was new to the island and just met my boyfriend, she tried looking him up on facebook but he said he didn't use it NOW REMEMBER THAT OK GUYS. HE DOESN'T USE FACEBOOK; OK REMEMBER THAT (you'll see why)
I told her I'm his girlfriend; who are you. etc

This is where it got fun. I started to get abuse. "What the fuck. Why are you faking being his girlfriend!" I was hurting at the time and all my little brain could get out was "I'm not" Like C'mon Tamsyn; I should have let full Hulk mode out then!
So then I started asking questions such as;
"What number do you text him on"
"why do you have no friends"

You ready for this guys; I quote "He doesn't text we fb msg"
This is where it clicked in.
So this is where I got funny. She starting asking what the hell my problem is. I should check his facebook for Katie. and then deactivated the account.

So things were a bit fun last Saturday night.
Now I don't want lie to anyone. This really mucked with my mind. It made things very difficult between me and my boyfriend and we didn't talk for about a day and a bit. We did almost break up because I couldn't trust. But after a day or so of letting each other calm down. We talked about it and after the anger cleared I could see how fake the account is.
We spent about a day trying to work out who it could be, it could have been one of my friends, his friends, my ex, his ex's. Anyone.

I just want to post this; because I want people to know, that there are slugs in the world that come out of their little hidey hole just to cause problems. But you know what you gotta do to them slugs? Squash them.
Me and my boyfriend did get a bit dodgy from this; so they almost won. But we talked things out and now we are just as good as we were before last Saturday.

Now a message to Carla Crane
You Tired. You Failed. I was angry. Now I'm not. Long shot; but reactivate the account and talk to me. I just want to know why. If you tell me who you are and come clean; rather than me find out (oh and I will find out) Then I will not go ape shit on you. :)

Honestly guys; if anyone of you get messages like this, 90% of the time it will be fake. If it is a fake account doing it, then you can guarantee it's all a load of rubbish and just a little slug wanting some attention.

Anyway; Until next time guys! x

What happened behind closed doors; doesn't always need to stay behind close doors. It's time to speak and stand up.

I was sexually assaulted. Technically I was raped; but I don't like that word.
It has come to the point, where I do not care if the person see's this post because I am no longer ashamed to admit what happened to me. It was not my fault, it was his. I know I am not the only girl  or boy who has or is going through this, so I am writing my story to spread the word.

Sex without consent is sexual assault.

So around 4 years ago I was in a relationship. I will not admit the name of the person I was with, so for this post I will call him Michael.
I was excited. I'd never been in a proper relationship. I had "boyfriends" in school, but you'd break up within a week for their friend,
At first I thought the relationship was good. But I was naive. It wasn't a long relationship and I do not remember much about it because I tried to block a lot of the memories.
Looking back at the relationship now, it was a controlling relationship. Not as controlling as some peoples, but was still more than any relationship should be. I was never allowed to look at his phone, but he could look at mine., I got called names, and was guilt tripped a lot.

I was also very shy. I didn't like my body, so I didn't want to show it off. I didn't want to have sex. But I would then to made to feel guilty. But I wasn't ready, And that is the key point. I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to share my body with somebody, and if any person and I mean ANY person, feels this way the other person needs to respect this and back off them!

After a while I gave in. It hurt. Because I wasn't ready. I said "no I don't want to" but he carried on.
And of course naive little me, thought this was ok. It's fine, we are in a relationship. This is was it is like.
Well. NO. THIS IS NOT OK. 
Its safe to say within a month after this the relationship was over because Michael got want he wanted.

When the relationship broke, I became depressed and I started self harming again. It took me a long time but I finally came over the breakup and became happy again.

I was naive, like I said, So it actually took me 3 years to realise what happened. This is too late for me to be able to do anything "legal" about it, They'd be no evidence. and honestly, I didn't want to press charges or involve police because I didn't ever want to see him again.

What happened to me, shocked me up so much that my depression came back. I left my job and my anxiety was so bad that I couldn't leave the house without my mum. Thankfully I never self harmed and I'm clean of self harm for over a year and six months.
I've been having counselling since December. I can now say I am 4 sessions away of completing this therapy. It has taken me a long time but I am finally ok and have learnt it is not my fault.

Thankfully now I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. He has been my rock throughout this and has supported me with so much. He has showed me what a true relationship is and treats me the way every person in a relationship should be treated.

If a person treats you the way Michael treated me, you need to leave that relationship and find a person that will make you happy and love you for yourself.
I know so many people have gone through this, or might currently be going through this, so for me to finally pluck up the courage and write my story, I hope it can help just one person, in the same shoes as I were to come forward and realise they can do 100% better!


Here is a Video about sexual consent explained by making tea..
In my case in the time of going to make the tea; I changed my mind.

You're never alone!

Today is what I would call a "bad day".
Yesterday I had my first proper session of a specific type of counselling. I've had many counselors and many different sessions; but yesterday was the first time I ever cried.
So much got discussed yesterday, which is great and the first step to getting better. But right now I feel emotionally drained.
I spent a good hour yesterday crying about bringing up bits n bobs I've held onto for the last 3 years. Its bound to be a difficult road to recovery when you've held in so much for a long period of time.
Today although I feel less upset and no longer regret talking about everything, I still feel "ugh" I don't want to do anything, I feel almost nothing. (This lovely misty rain does not help)
I know it wont last forever and it wont be easy the next few weeks after my sessions, but this time I must be more positive about counselling.

I'm really writing this post to show and let people know that it's ok to cry. Its ok to talk about your feelings. Don't bottle things up, Don't end up like me; holding everything in so that when tiny bits slip out you feel  emotionally drained for 24 hours.
Don't ever feel alone, There is always somebody you can talk to! A friend, relative, teacher or counselor. It is so much better to get your feelings out when you have them rather than to hold them in.

If there is one thing yesterdays session taught me is that everyone's feelings are valid. No matter what you feel at any point of time in any situation your feelings that you have are okay to have. You all have reasons to have these feelings, so don't hide them, let them out:)