With so much going on right now with my weekly counselling/therapy, family and friends situations/struggles and just battling the bad feelings, its easy to remember the reasons why I normally give up.
I thought it would be a good idea to start a new chapter in my life, so I have signed up to an free online course studying Children Studies.
This is really good for me, and is a big step to take But I've already started to regret it. Starting it in winter, probably wasn't the best idea I have ever made. Anybody who has seasonal affective disorder knows how hard and difficult it is to do day to day tasks, let alone stuff that actually means your brain has to function!
Anybody with dyspraxia also knows that trying to keep your concentration when its just you and the computer is a challenge itself; without actually trying to focus on the subject and having information get into your brain.
I can also start to feel the pressure from people around me, asking me about the course, how I'm doing, have I done study etc.
The reason I did this online course is so that I can take my time, not rush it or have to be 100% committed to it. My whole problem at the moment is commitment.
But the pressure to feel like I should be passing this course and completing it already to do more really isn't helping.
I just seem to feel a little bummed out lately. I don't feel depressed, but I don't feel me. I wake up in the morning and just feel "ugh" I'm constantly achy and tired until like 1pm; then by 6pm I'm ready for bed again!
But I'm not going to give in. It's only December; got a long way to go before spring!
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